Musim buah durian

That phrase “musim buah durian” (transl: durian fruit season) would make any Malaysian sit straight up, put both elbows on the table and lean right over. By some fluke of strange luck, it seems that you – yes you! – your visit to KL will correspond with musim buah durian here in Malaysia!

So what is a durian?

Dude… durian is… King!

That’s right, the durian is fruit royalty in Malaysia.

No, I’m not kidding.

Truthfully, you will either love or hate the durian, but either way, you will respect it. It is rather hard not to. The fruit is usually the size of a basketball, but there are smaller variants. The fruit is covered with very sharp thorns. Opening the fruit is an art of its own.

The durian flesh – the part that is eaten, has a soft, creamy texture and a large seed in the middle. Think of the messiest fruit you have ever eaten – the durian is probably messier than that. The flesh is usually described as caramel sweet with a distinct flavour that is like no other. British naturalist Alfred Russel Wallace describes the flavour as a combination of cream cheese and sherry-wine, among others.

But your most memorable encounter with the durian – if you will encounter one on your trip here – will be the smell. You will smell the durian before you see it. It has a strong scent which is not often described as aromatic. I remember when I was much younger and my dad brought home durians in his car. His car smelled like durian for weeks after that. It is that strong.

This is also the reason why most locals describe the durian as the fruit that tastes like heaven but smells like hell.

Here’s what some notable foodies have to say about the durian:

Its taste can only be described as…indescribable, something you will either love or despise. …Your breath will smell as if you’d been French-kissing your dead grandmother.
- Anthony Bourdain

It is like eating sweet raspberry blancmange in the lavatory.
- Anthony Burgess

Completely rotten, mushy onions!
- Andrew Zimmern

Its odor is best described as pig-shit, turpentine and onions, garnished with a gym sock. It can be smelled from yards away.
- Richard Sterling

Other things you need to know about the durian:

• Most hotels do not allow you to bring durian into your hotel room. Remember to check. I don’t know if you can bring a durian onto a plane, though. Good luck.
• Do not, under any circumstances, consume alcohol with durian. This is a formula for a seriously, seriously, seriously bad hangover.
• No matter how gross it looks, you will have to use your hands to eat durian.

The durian is known for its heat properties, so it is perfectly okay to sweat when eating durian :)

The latest fashion in Malaysia right now is the all-you-can-eat durian buffets. I have friends who are durian freaks and would sit for hours and hours just chatting and eating just durian.

So there you go. Something to look forward to on your trip here next month :)